In The News

Dateline New Jersey

Nine time Olympic gold medalist, Carl Lewis, has been officially ruled ineligible to run for a New Jersey State Senate position on the grounds he has failed to meet a four year residency requirement, prior to the date of the election for the office he seeks. And the NJ. Secretary Of State has ordered Lewis' name be stricken from the June Democratic primary ballot.

The secretary of state, who is also the lieutenant governor under Governor Chris Christie, noted in a fifteen page opinion that "Lewis said" he owns a home in California, has business offices there, was registered to vote there until recently and paid taxes there. Lewis said the ruling would be challenged and he told the Philadelphia Enquirer that Christie had tried to talk him out of running.

Lewis said "what's really clear to me is, first the Governor called and tried to talk me out of my race. Now he's trying to use his power to do it. I didn't realize I would be running against the governor in my 8th district race." The Christie administration told the paper that Lewis "misunderstood the talk."

Lewis, 49, grew up in New Jersey, has owned homes there since 2005, has been a volunteer track coach at his hometown high school since 2007 and has had a valid New Jersey driver's license since 2006.

The 8th district senate seat is currently held by a republican.

Note to Carl: Even though I have absolutely no sympathy for folks of the democratic persuasion, allow me to suggest you sign-up for the Rahm Emanuel pre-primary course on How To Beat Residency Requirements 101.

Note to Chris Christie: Perhaps you need to work on your communication skills. When politicians use their office for political games, their public always ends the losers.

The Royal Wedding

I really don't care. All sarcasm aside, I really REALLY don't care. While the purveyors of propaganda rave on and on (and on) about the nuptials of titular figureheads in a faraway land, closer to home events, like ever rising food and fuel prices, get a semi passing mention.

Note to Will: When you step out on Kate, don't make it with a nasty ugly hag like your daddy did.

A Royal Departure

It's official. Katie Couric is leaving CBS Evening News.

The crowned princess of propaganda told People Magazine about her future plans, "I am looking at a format that will allow me to engage in more multi-dimensional storytelling."

I can only assume that means she has grown tired of the single dimensional storytelling she has been purveying up until now.

With that, I'll bid Katie a fond A M F!!! (and I don't mean arrivederci my friend)

In Breaking News

The royal pain in the butt has released his long form birth certificate, at long last, and a pdf copy is available to anyone who might be interested. I am not.

First Party Secretary Soetoro said he realizes that not everyone will be satisfied by the release of the certificate, but said the political discourse could not be helped by "sideshows" and "carnival barkers" continuing to talk about the issue. (God knows enough time has passed since the issue was first raised that a forged document couldn't even be verified by carbon dating tests)

Note to The Donald: I think he's talking about YOU with the sideshow and carnival barker remarks. But then if he had said boardwalk barkers, I'd be positive. Then again, he might be suggesting that the 62 percent of the American people who are not convinced he was born in the U.S. have the mentality of sideshow freaks and carnival barkers. But then, I suppose that is no worse than being called a "birther," "truther" or "teabagger."

Note to self: You really need to avoid the news.

MikeH.

Gas Price Task Force

Now here is a stroke of true genius that should fall under the category; If ya can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bull-stuff. I know I'm baffled... sorta.

Feeling our pain, Barry (a true man of the people) is creating a task force to investigate whether or not there is corruption, fraud and price manipulations running rampant within the oil industry.

I'm still not the brightest bulb in the crayon box so I may have to work this out in long-hand; First Party Secretary Soetoro wants to be reelected in 2012, really really bad. So in a vain attempt to convince the American people that he really really is a good guy, now, and worthy of being more than a one term despot, he is ordering up an investigation into the cause behind the number one most major problem being faced by said Americans... gasoline prices. That should win him a couple hundred million brownie points.

OK!!! Now I see the first of what will no doubt be several bafflements. Even though the lame-stream media doesn't want to draw attention to this "minor" factoid; gasoline prices rank number two on the problem list. Skyrocketing FOOD PRICES holds the number one spot. But food and fuel both start with an "F" so I may see the source of their confusion.

For those of you who think I may be putting too much importance on food over gasoline, have a nice warm cup of gas with breakfast and see how your work-day goes. You CAN live without fuel. Food is a different story. So why isn't Barry creating a food price task force?

Anyway; back to gas prices, Barry, task forces and the liberal spreading of mayonnaise on a turd sandwich. While big oil is extorting millions upon millions out of our wallets, FPS Soetoro is forming a government investigative group which I'm semi sure will cost the American taxpayers millions, or more likely, billions out of our wallets over the course of numerous years. That IS the way government works after all.

So with millions (or billions) to be spent, what report could the gas price task force possibly produce? If it's anything like the volumes of mayonnaise coated pages found in Barrycare, the American people will never receive or know the outcome. And by then, gasoline will have attained the elevated status of the new version of the gold standard.

On the other hand, the GTF may determine that the conflict in Libya IS the chief cause for higher pump prices. Yeah, right!!!

Of course, we all know the truth of the matter. It's called G R E E D, but, somehow I suspect we will never see that as an official answer. Those folks over in the UAE know it. All the big wigs in big oil throughout the world know it. Bet your buns that every member of our government best (and worst) know it. Hell, even a dim crayon like me can figure it out.

And there's the truth of it. A few very greedy individuals who enjoy the or-gas-mic experience of power felt by making hundreds of millions of other folks dance to their sick little tune.

So if FPS Soetoro would send me just one percent of the total amount that will be spent on this task force, he would have the true answer to tell the American public, and I would be filthy, stinking rich beyond anyone's wildest dreams. And by the way, Barry, I prefer cash or PayPal. In Soetoro I do not trust.

MikeH.

Time To Make A Plan

In my neighborhood, gas is now up to $3.75 a gallon and there are folks ("experts") who claim it will increase 40 percent, nation wide, by Memorial Day. According to my calculator, that works out to around $5.50 a gallon. Higher in the six states, and the District Of Criminals, where gas is already at or above $4.00 a gallon.

I'm retired so I don't have to drive everyday. I can usually get by with only putting twenty or so miles on my truck in a two week period. My wife, on the other hand, drives 71 miles to and from work... A DAY!!! And here I got all pushed out of shape when I bought $15.00 worth of gas the other day and it didn't even fill the tank on my riding mower. You can bet your buns that my property will soon look like a two acre swatch of the old Ho Chi Minh Trail before I blow that kind of cash on something so frivolous again.

On a brighter note; the price of groceries at Wal Mart has been keeping up with gas prices. What you could buy a couple of months ago at four for a dollar you can now buy as one for five dollars. When the wife saw a package of beef ribs priced at twenty dollars, well, suffice it to say we will not be having ribs for Easter dinner. She did take note that at least one enterprising Wal Mart shopper had selected a whole roasted chicken from the deli department and polished it off before making it to checkout. And just tossed the bones on the floor, while cruising the aisles looking for other bargains.

I'm sure many of you have been reading / seeing in the news where thefts of large quantities (read: truck loads) of food items are being committed. And our little adventure into hyperinflation land is just in it's infancy... the tip of the proverbial iceberg as it were. And while gas and food prices are headed for the Moon, how many of you have seen a cost of living adjustment let alone one that will help you pay for the fuel to get to work or the adequate food to fuel YOU so as to complete that work?

I may have spent way too many hours with my head stuck in a bag of Elmer's Glue but I still believe we have a chance to prevent the looming train wreck that is America. We need to make a plan and we need to make it now. As they say in the old country; "schmooze runs down hill." Well, it's time for those of us who live in the valley to pump it right back up to the top. I'm suggesting a general strike. Shut it all down. No work, no school, no driving and no buying. We need to put a severe shock on the entertainment / hospitality / visitor industry. No ocean cruises, no Disneyland and no weekend getaways to a casino, horse or dog track. When big business, big money and the mob starts seeing a loss of revenue, you can be pretty damn sure they will bring a mountain of pressure to bare on government.

If this doesn't work, then we go to war. The only other alternative, as I see it, is to make our peace with God and take our chances as soup-bones in zombieland.

MikeH.

Lions And Tigers And A Goverment Shut-down. . . Oh My! ! !

In a little less than twelve hours, the government may shut-down if Congress can't come up with a budget plan to Barry's liking.

Leave me try to understand this; The government is threatening to close down the government, if the government can't agree on a government budget?

MSNBC's version of the news today asks the question, "How Would A Government Shut-down Affect You?" In their scenario, the first malady that will directly affect the rank and file American's among us is a delayed tax return from the IRS. National parks may have to close and the Smithsonian, and other national museums, may have to do likewise. On the flip side to that coin, government employees may be ordered to shut off their Blackberry phones.

Scare tactics usually don't work on me. They can keep my tax return. They can lock up the national parks and they can auction off all the old stuff in the national museums. But if the powers that are should be forced to order their hundreds of thousands of Umpa Lumpas to turn off their Blackberrys, dear God above, I may become suicidal!!!

Here's an idea; as the landlords of all things (mis) managed by the government, including the government itself, I think if they shut it down, we should repossess it... starting with the White House and the Capital Building. And kick all the freeloading vermin residing therein straight to the curb. And take their Blackberrys away in the process.

MikeH.

And The Beat Goes On

It's the story of my life. I take a brief hiatus from the shackles of blogdom and miss out on the opportunity to comment on the really important newsworthy events of the past month. For example; Charlie Sheen has screwed the pooch and shut down "Two And A Half Men." Jennifer Aniston has changed her hair style (about time if you ask me). Lindsey Lohan is in criminal trouble, yet again. Kelsey Grammer has married for the fourth time and, the best news of all, Kate Middleton is winning the hearts and minds of the Royal's loyal subjects. Yea Kate!!!

Considering the vast media attention given to these "world shaping" happenings, I suppose I should be as content as a pig in mud. But instead, I find myself still fixated on the little, less important things in life. For example;

Since last I typed, rebel forces convinced Egyptian President, Hosni Mubarak to release the hold of his thirty plus year dictatorship and take his act on the road. Yea rebels!!! I somehow think I'd be highly remiss, though, if I didn't make mention of the fact that just as soon as Mubarak beat feet for parts unknown, Egypt was sucked into a massive black hole where news updates have become non existent. It is as if nothing happened... just another day kind of thing.

Rebel forces in Libya, seeing the effects of Egypt's rebel efforts, have been nudged into action in the hope of breaking the grip of Mohmar "Daffy" Kadafi's forty plus year despotic rule over that country. Go rebels!!! Of course the big surprise here is, the U.S. has frozen all of Kadafi's assets. (and who says Barry is weak) But I can't help but speculate on how much of those "assets" will become secreted away to "off shore" accounts in Chicago.

I have received information, third hand, that I can not confirm; al Jazeera News has allegedly reported Kadafi ordered a large number of children be taken from a day care facility to the center of town, doused with gasoline and set ablaze. He has supposedly threatened more children will burn if rebels don't immediately stand down. It is further alleged that Kadafi has ordered loyalists to attack and rape lone women, in an effort to inspire rebels to stay at home to protect their women. I have to say I wouldn't doubt Kadafi's resolve to stay in power nor his actions, no matter how heinous, to maintain that power. Even the burning of children. I also have no doubts that if these stories are true, the American news media would not report them.

Closer to home; I suffered some very serious personal injury a few days ago. I saw the price of gasoline has "inched" up to $3.29 a gallon and I received massive soft tissue damage from the high speed impact of my sphincter slamming shut. Way down in the small print put out by the lame stream media, it has been reported that the surge in fuel prices is the result of speculator's concerns over the civil unrest in Egypt and Libya and the potential for a disruption in the oil supply lines.

With the exception of Saddam Hussein's igniting of Iraqi oil fields in 2003, how many times have civil upheavals, wars or threats of wars in oil producing countries, actually put a stopper on the oil spigot? Yeah, that's what I thought... zip, zero, zilch (ie. Na Da) In other words, it's just an excuse to gouge the hell out of us end users by Big Oil. And it works every time.

My daughter has come to the realization that her father's fears of food prices (among other fears) going through the roof are not the ramblings of a demented conspiracy theorist. She suffered a high speed impact injury herself recently when she stopped at the local Sav-A-Lot to pick up a head of lettuce and a green pepper. Gouge-A-Bunch now wants $2.39 for lettuce and $2.59 for a green pepper. An increase of more than one dollar in only a week's time.

The weather here in North Carolina has been very nice for February, (75 degrees today) so last week the son in law and I tilled and began prepping the soil for the family garden. I highly suggest you folks do the same at the earliest possible weather opening. Don't get caught with your pants down or your belly gauges below a quarter tank.

Prices are going to get worse and as they do, folks who can't afford to buy will resort to taking by force. Have you already gotten your head wrapped around the idea that it may become necessary to your very survival to protect what you have... by force? We may well have reached the point where it's too late to debate the issue.

Yea Preppers!!!

MikeH.

Top Stories Of The Bottom Feeders

No Surprise Here

The Illinois State Supreme Court ruled "unanimously" to overturn an appeals court decision that, three days earlier, ruled Former White House thug, Rahm Emanuel, does not meet state residency requirements to run for mayor of Chicago.

Logic would at least seem to dictate; if you own or otherwise maintain a residence in a particular location, receive mail there, spend time there now and then, you might just be a resident of said particular location. I would have included the paying of taxes to the local, county or state government as a proof of residency but, in this case, most high ranking obamanoids seem to be exempt from that minor inconvenience.

On the one hand, I can't help but wonder if someone in the appeals court suffered a brain aneurysm or, just maybe, developed a conscience. (I'm leaning heavily toward the aneurysm) On the other hand, I don't understand why they would waste time and money [read taxpayer's money] trying to derail what is a sure thing. The appellate court had to know they would be over-ruled. Make no mistake, it is in the bag. I just can't understand why the Chicago political machine finds it necessary to feign an election. Just give the SOB the key to the executive crapper and be done with it.

Aint That The Pits

Representative Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) has filed a $150,000.00 suit against a congressional cafeteria after being sold a sandwich wrap that contained an olive pit. Kucinich claims the pit caused "serious and permanent damage" and as a result, he is (should be) entitled to receive compensation for all present and possible future dental and medical expenses.

Let me see if I can get a braincell, or two, to fire something that simulates cognitive thought:

A congressional cafeteria, I would think in some way, finds it's existence dependent upon the sweat of American taxpayers. After all, it is intended to provide a service to government folks and is located in a government building.

A tax-critter, whose total existence is, and has been, completely dependent upon the sweat of American taxpayers for far too many years, wants to sue (some how or another, it's going to boil down to) the very same American taxpayers to provide for those "current and future dental / medical expenses" demanded in the suit.

So, has the tax-critter forgotten that, as a representative of the U.S. Congress, he is already entitled to FREE health care for the rest of his miserable life which is already being paid for by the sweat of the American taxpayer? Or does he think WE have forgotten?

In the words of South Park's Mr. Hanky, "don't mind him, he has a peanut stuck in his head." Yeah well, problem is, it will fall on us American taxpayers to cover the cost of having that peanut removed.

Day Of Rage

Seems that folks in Egypt are a wee bit unsettled about events in their part of the world. Who is at fault... don't know, don't care. That's their problem to deal with. However, this morning's news is reporting all internet and cellphone services have been cut.

In any type of serious mass operation, like a huge anti government protest, communications is paramount. Cut the lines of communication and the operation turns into a bunch of folks standing around with semi stupid expressions on their faces.

Bottom line is; allow a government to assume control over various forms of communication and it will assume control over the stupid expressions on the faces of it's subjects. I know I'd feel rage.

Inquiring Minds Need To Know

The State Of Alaska must release former governor Sarah Palin's 25,000 pages of emails by May 31, otherwise... I'm not really sure what will happen. I'm not really sure I give a rat's furry ass, either.

I don't know what that woman has but it sure seems that an awful lot of folks are mighty worried about it. And it sure seems those folks will go to any lengths to exploit even the most benign scraps of nothing to make Palin appear to be the mother of the anti-Christ. (And I thought Barry already had that spot in the bag) And when they can't get to her one way, they go after her daughter. I'm thinking I'd like to see a Palin / Palin run in 2012. (And I don't want to see and quips about a mother / daughter tag team, guys)

I know that over the years I have pressed the send button on some emails I'd really like to think are totally lost in the most remote reaches of cyberspace. And I'm willing to bet Palin has a few also. I just don't think there would be anything in any of those 25,000 pages that will be the key to damn her political career for all eternity. But you can bet the lame steam media will misquote and misrepresent every single word, or the misspelling there of, within hours after those pages are released.

MikeH.

Chest Waders Or Body Condoms

There is no doubt in my mind that The Big O (as in zero) is a lot like Thomas Kinkade. The only difference; where Kinkade is "the painter of light," Barry is "the master bullshit artist." And I have to tell the truth here. I can't quite decide which amazes me more, his audacity to reach greater depths in the septic tank to reload his painter's palate... or the vast number of people who buy into his [ah] artistry.

Although there is no way I could stand to watch Barry, or listen to his grating voice, I have taken the time to read the "truth" as propagandized by the lame stream media. Why he was given an hour and a half of television air time, to give a state of the union report, is beyond my meager abilities to mentally process. He could have done it in two words, "We're screwed." Or he could have just said THIS. Of course, he could have written "Dreams Of My Father" on a Post-a-note, seeing as how his father only dreamed of getting drunk and trying not to hit solid objects with his car. I guess it just goes to show Barry's flair for using heavily loaded broad brush strokes.

First off, I want to bring notice to several of the photos where Veep Joe Biden and House Speaker John Boehner are seen in the background behind Zero. Goofy Joe has his usual goofy grin (perhaps a shit eating grin) plastered from ear to ear, while he has his gazed fixed on Zero's back. Boehner, on the other hand, is seen with what I can only best describe as a fellatioist's muscle spasm going on between his ears. (He just hasn't impressed me as being as strong a Republic-can as Nancy does at being a communist)

Next up for critique is Barry's remarkable(?) remark about; "... revolutions in technology have transformed the way we live, work and do business. Steel mills that once needed 1000 workers can now do the same work with 100." Until a few years ago, I lived near Cleveland, Ohio. As little as a couple hours drive to Youngstown, OH. and Pittsburgh, PA. Last time I looked, all of the steel mills that employed 1000 or more have been closed up for years and the buildings are rusting back into the earth. But then, maybe Zero was talking about the steel mills in foreign countries? (like China, from where end users receive steel products that have to be well cleaned of casting media before use)

The reason I ponder that question; he went on to say "Just recently, China became home to the world's largest private solar research facility, (does "private" mean privately owned by the Chinese government?) and the world's fastest computer. The competition for jobs is real. But this shouldn't discourage us. It should challenge us." Well golly gee, Zippy!!! Considering the majority of those job have packed up and moved out of America, several years ago, and since folks over there will work for one tenth of what American workers were making, I'll bet the competition for jobs in China is very real. Problem is, they will take our jobs but not our un / under employed workers who would consider the move there for a chance at a job.

The self anointed one also made reference to the Sputnik Shock of 1957. He sure does find a lot of inspiration in the bastions of die-hard communism, doesn't he.

The stinky stuff really gets deep here; "Over the last two years, we have begun building for the 21st. century, a project that has meant thousands of good jobs for the hard-hit construction industry." Thousands of good jobs for ONE hard-hit industry segment!!! I suppose that means "screw you" to the MILLIONS of un / under employed in all of the other hard-hit segments. Of course, those "good jobs" being in a heavily unionized segment of industry is the primary reason Andy Stern and members of S.E.I.U. also suffer from facial deformities like goofy grins and spontaneous involuntary fellatioist's muscle cramping.

Barry called for building rail systems so that Americans would have access to high speed rail service. To where, I haven't a clue. Me thinks novocaine cranium has never taken notice of the fact that, for the most part, the public isn't real keen on using public transportation. The only high speed transportation system, that would make sense to me, involves saying, "beam me up Scottie, we need to find a new planet."

But Zero's biggest splash of schmooze was; "Let's move forward together." To where, I HAVE a clue. Forward to the total socialization of America.

But last night's preempting of otherwise mediocre television programming was in no way a report by the POTUS to Congress as to the state of the union. It was a pitiful play to boost his low poll numbers and drum up supporters for his 2012 reelection bid, based on (you guessed it) BULLSHIT.

Hey Barry, here is a simple vision test for ya. How many fingers am I holding up... and which finger is it?

MikeH.